Our
Special Day
I am walking down the aisle headed straight to my future.
He looks amazing, sexy, and outright hot in his black tuxedo
with his I just got fucked hair. It is taking everything in me not to rip this
hideous dress off me and jump him right here and now in front of all of our
family and friends. I am now standing right in front of him and we are hand in
hand. Oh My Gosh! I’m nervous as hell. Both of our hands are so sweaty; he must
be just as nervous.
He comes forward and is so close that we are nose to nose
now, I hear someone clear their throat. Chuckling, I whisper to Shawn saying that
he can’t kiss me yet. He gives me an
Eskimo kiss and pulls my veil back causing me to shiver and give me goose-bumps
everywhere.
Oh Lord give me strength,
this man is my weakness. How did I get so lucky?!
The priests startles me when he says, “Does anyone think
these two should not be married, if so, speak now or forever hold your peace. Shawn and I just roll our eyes because we know
everyone in our whole town wants us to be married. We have been together since
we were in high school and now we are both 28.
Wow,
13 years! I can’t believe it’s been that long. Holy cow!
Oh
no…!
“Shawn, I am in love with you! I have been since I was a
freshman in high school, but I would never say anything because I have always
known that Mia was your soul mate. But before you marry her there is something
that you need to know. And it might change how today will end.”
Oh god…NO!! Missy please don’t, I thought we were
friends. I confided in you. Oh God!
Missy continues, “Mia was pregnant our senior year. She
was going to have an abortion but when we got to the clinic the baby didn’t
have a heartbeat. Mia never told you because she didn’t want to hurt you. I’m
sorry Mia, but I have to tell him, he deserves to know.”
Bitch!!!
How could you do this and of all the days and all the moments you could have
told him; you chose TODAY! Our wedding day! I stare at her in
complete shock, how she could tell him this now and in front of our entire
family and friends. She had dozens of chances to say something, why did it have
to be today. Shawn turns to me and says, “Mia, pretty girl, please tell me that
Missy is lying; that you would never keep something like this from me. Baby?”
I am a complete sobbing mess and I open my mouth to tell
him but no words come out. I feel like someone has reached down my throat and
ripped my heart out. Please forgive me
Shawn! I tried to speak again but all I could do was nod my head, yes, that
it’s true. Sobbing into my hands I try to put together what to say to him. But
how do you tell the love of your life you were going to abort his baby 10 years
ago and didn’t even tell him you were pregnant. I have to try, if only I could
get the words out.
Shawn, my love,
I don’t know where to start but please try to understand. I wasn’t ready;
neither of us was, not at 18. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to go through
with it when I got there; and I was completely torn in two when I was told
there was no heartbeat but was relieved at the same time. I know that doesn’t
make my decision by not telling you any better, but I tired numerous times to
tell you after but never could so I chose to deal with the loss on my own.
Please understand! I didn’t want to hurt you. You were about to start college
and you were so focused and dead set on making it into law school. And I was
worried about the distance that would put between us and then were stressing
because you didn’t hear from the scholarship foundation yet. I didn’t want you
to have to bear the burden of losing a child on top of it all. God knows I wish
I could go back but I can’t. Shawn, please, I beg you to understand.
Shawn is yelling now and telling everyone that the
wedding is off, and hearing that snaps me out of my thoughts and all I can do
is watch as he runs straight for the church doors; as I fall to the ground
begging God to forgive me. To not let me lose the one man that has owned my
heart since I was 15 years old. Please God, don’t let him give up on us, help
him understand why I did what I did all those years ago.
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